All Things Work Together for Good

Yesterday I had the chance to share a piece of my story with a pretty large room full of women and fellow moms, my local MOPS group who I’m so grateful for. MOPS stands for Moms of Preschoolers, but it’s actually for moms-to-be and moms of toddlers too! Basically we’re all in a very similar stage of life, face similar struggles, and can relate on a LOT of levels. Getting to meet up with them every two weeks has been a huge blessing in my life over the past almost 2 years, and this year I’ve had the opportunity to be on the leadership team which has meant doing a few things outside my comfort zone, like volunteering to be a speaker this week! 😬 If you follow me here you’re probably more familiar with my story than many of the ladies I spoke to were. But since I had a few people ask what I spoke about after I mentioned it on my Instagram and Facebook stories, I wanted to make it possible to share the main points outside the group, too. Regardless of if you’re a mom of young ones, I hope the message is meaningful to you also.

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If you follow my Instagram Story you’ve seen me share an image of the inside of my daily devotional book, Jesus Calling, on a pretty regular basis. I’ve loved this book since receiving it for my birthday this past Winter, because the messages are short enough to fit into my busy morning, but always seem to speak right to whatever is going on in my life, while being based on and referencing specific Bible verses that I can look up separately if/when I want. This week I started feeling led to follow the theme that kept popping up; that struggles and hardships will happen, and that they’re not only an opportunity for growth, will become part of a bigger story/have purpose for those who love God, but are also a highlighted chance to choose to lean on God (and be blessed by that) or to lean elsewhere.

After sharing a brief overview of who I am/where I come from with the group, I talked about how the past 3 years since the birth of our second son, Ethan, have been some of the hardest in my life. That despite his angelic appearance and often precious demeanor, from his emergence onto the scene forward has been a more high-stress, overwhelmed, exasperated experience than I ever expected. It’s resulted in my having to all but completely give up my previous life-long quest for perfection and throw the “Oh, I’m fine” response out the window despite wanting desperately to just “be fine.” I’ve often turned to my old pal, sweets, to dampen the stress responses and try to “feed” deeper feelings of inadequacy, resentment, frustration, sadness, loneliness, etc. Food can literally be used just like drugs to self-medicate!

Even growing up “in church” I wouldn’t say I’ve ever felt like a very “mature” Christian. Probably partly because I haven’t been much more than a Sunday church kind of seeker — not involved in consistent daily spiritual growth. I have to say, just in the first 2 month of this year since beginning the Jesus Calling book and also beginning a “Bible in a Year” audio plan on a free Bible app I have, I’ve been more attuned than before to God’s presence and working in my life. Could this have been brought on by my husband suddenly getting deployment orders and being away now? Honestly, yes! HARDSHIP gives us opportunities to choose God. The key, I gather, is staying there with him when things are good, too. I’m not saying life isn’t good currently — don’t get me wrong. Just that certain elements of life have been and are currently *QUITE* challenging, and I’m working on choosing to lean on my Creator and Savior more. Of course I don’t do it perfectly, and I don’t even think “perfectly” exists. Waving “bye!” to the quest for perfectionism because it only sets you up for disappointment and steals away joy. 👋🏻🙅🏻‍♀️

All this to say, I’ve found myself in a position where my PALMS are UPTURNED toward the sky, both in surrender and with expectation of receiving direction and goodness from God. There’s a verse referenced in this week’s pages of Jesus Calling that I shared with our group yesterday and that I’ll share here as well:

“And we know [with great confidence] that God [who is deeply concerned about us] causes all things to work together [as a plan] for good for those who love God, to those who are called according to His plan and purpose.”

Romans 8:28 Amplified Bible (AMP)

This doesn’t mean life will ever feel like it’s all wrapped up in a pretty bow. There will always be new things happening that are challenging and upsetting, BUT — thinking about all this this week and preparing to share, I identified 3 areas where hardship has turned into blessing in my life specifically:

• The food crutch I mentioned above LED ME to being “fed up” with feeling terrible and LED ME to the healthy lifestyle coaching and programs that I now use and share with others to help them feel better and live healthier and happier. This also has given me a larger platform from which to share my own personal growth, INCLUDING my faith 🙌🏻✨
• Having the courage to follow my MOPS table leader’s urging that I apply to be part of this year’s MOPS leadership team despite feeling SO underqualified and uncomfortable initially has turned into my having an even deeper and closer connection with more women from the group, my fellow leadership team ladies — and I couldn’t have known last Spring when I followed that call that I would NEED and LEAN on their love and support and encouragement during this unforeseen deployment of Gary’s. Thank you God for knowing that need in advance and preparing and caring for me in this way 🙌🏻✨
• Lastly, my mom being diagnosed with breast cancer just over 6 years ago. How could that possibly be a blessing, you ask?? I didn’t see it either for a long time. And I’m SO incredibly grateful that she’s ALIVE and well today. Basically, our oldest son Bradley likely wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for that cancer news. See, when Gary and I got married, we sort of set this loose timeline of wanting to wait about 5 years to start having kids. Just a ball park number to try and ensure we had some time just the two of us. Well, upon hearing that my mom had cancer (and attending the initial appointments with her and facing the treatment plans and odds of survival at 1 year out, 5 years out, etc.) I couldn’t face the thought of her not being around for the “having babies” part of my life. I didn’t want HER to miss that either! So it was the catalyst for us choosing to “start trying” to have our first baby. We were given a quick response because within 2 months I was pregnant, and I gave Gary the news in an “early 5 year anniversary present” a week before our 5th anniversary. We would’ve waited longer without the prompting of my mom’s disease, and so in all likelihood, “Bradley” as we know him would have been a different combination of DNA, and therefore not “him” 😏 It’s extra special, because he and my mom are TIGHT. Like, super tight. So, wow 🙌🏻✨

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We all struggle, we all have moments where we’re NOT “fine” — and that’s okay. It’s okay to not be okay. Sharing that vulnerability only brings us closer with those around us and helps us all realize how much we have in common. I say TO HECK with perfectionism, the facade of “oh I’m fine” if we’re not, and YES PLEASE to transparency and community. I’m lucky enough, blessed enough, whatever you want to call it, to have incredible community in a a few key areas of MY life, and I’m hopeful you do as well. If not, I highly encourage you to latch on to those who do feed your heart and mind (first and foremost JESUS because he can and does in a way nobody and nothing else can) and to get involved with groups that promote your wellbeing. Even if you’re a huge introvert like me who’d rather STAY HOME and seriously dislikes committing to plans 😏 I promise, it’s worth it to step into a place that’s a little (or a lot) uncomfortable, because that’s the only place where GROWTH happens! (And it’s been proven that those who are GROWING are happier ☀️)

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for reading! I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments section below ⬇️

For more information on MOPS and to see if there’s a location in your area (they’re worldwide with over 4000 groups), visit: MOPS.org

And if you’re looking for a community of positive and uplifting, encouraging women to link arms with and get healthier and happier with, just say so and I’ll reach out so we can chat ☺️

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